Folks, this has probably been the longest cocktail hour you’ve been to, but I hope you’ve enjoyed every dose. The overarching theme of this first series is self-love. No matter what’s thrown my way in this season of life, learning to love myself more each day has been my savior. Nonetheless, I’m not sure I’ve mastered loving myself just yet. I also don’t think we’re meant to be masters of anything. Maybe we’re just given gifts while we’re here to share with the world. In doing that, we can’t forget ourselves. The first gift I gave myself was grace.
I used to be quite mean to myself. My insecurities held me hostage. I went a very long time without liking what I saw in the mirror. Sometimes, I’d avoid looking at myself altogether. Negative self-talk is a real thing. If you stay there long enough, you’ll start to believe those dark thoughts. I remember my former therapist asking me, If I had a friend call me to vent about a hard day, how would I console them? As I went into my detailed answer, she stopped me right in the middle of my thought and gave me a gem I still carry with me today. She told me that I had to learn to be a friend to myself. Give me the same grace and love I’d give that friend to keep pushing forward. It was a challenge I accepted. It wasn’t until my 29th birthday that I looked myself in the mirror and said, ‘I love you’.
The journey to loving yourself doesn’t come with a manual. It would be totally helpful if it did. You’re going to stumble like you do leaving brunch after bottomless mimosas. If you can make it through that, you can surely make it to the other side of whatever’s stopping you from giving yourself the love you deserve. Wanting to be a better you isn’t easy, and it shouldn’t be. Becoming your best self is going to take time. You have to say goodbye to those old habits that do you no good in order to make room for what’s next. It’s going to take more than downloading an app that gives you daily affirmations or writing positive quotes on sticky notes and placing them on your bathroom mirror. Trust me, I’ve done both. It’s going to take real work, like sitting in your own sh*t and figuring it out. Only YOU know what YOU need. Until then, enjoy the ride. You don’t have to settle for anything. That’s probably the biggest lesson I’ve learned so far this year. My heart’s desires outweigh the fear of loneliness. Besides, this time alone has given me the chance to get to know myself a little better. Just this week, I discovered that I indeed have a favorite flower: the Gerbera Daisy. It’s the small things.
I started this blog as a way to bring more fulfillment into my life and find joy in the content I create. Throughout this process, I’ve gained so much more. It feels like I’ve gone through a metamorphosis. I don’t care to be perfect. I know I’m beautiful. I’m showing up for myself and not taking sh*t from anyone. I hope you take a little bit of that for yourself. If you don’t remember anything else from this first chapter, just know you should avoid educators and black lipstick at all costs. You’ll thank me later! We’ve still got a lot more to learn, folks, because that’s what life is about. Until then, bottoms up!
