The Main Course: 30 Days of Thirty, B*!

I’m old, folks. Yes, your boy is officially part of the 30 Club. Just as I’ve finally started to embrace getting older, people constantly remind me that thirty is still relatively young. In the first thirty days of this new decade, there’s already been so much change happening. From proudly saying “no” to things that no longer serve me to getting out of my comfort zone, I anticipate my thirties being just as good as a late-night Waffle House run after one hell of a night. I’m also holding myself accountable in the areas of my life that still need a little fine-tuning. For one, I’m far from organized. That’s not to say my life is in shambles, but the Notes App and relying on my noggin alone taught me that I need more tools in my tool belt. Most adults live by their planners, and it only took me three decades to jump on that bandwagon. Talk about adulting! I’m also continuing to extend myself grace, which is easier said than done. Something thirty has already taught me is that life is hard enough, so there’s no reason to be hard on yourself. Still, easier said than done.

I actually spent my 30th birthday alone. I know, it’s not the way most would’ve spent the milestone. I thought I would’ve been in Paris and posted up by the Effile Tower. Seriously, I already had my outfit planned in my head. *inserts laughing emoji* Instead, I went to Charlotte because I always wanted to check out the city. It was a grand time! I successfully navigated using public transit (this was a big deal), immersed myself in the city’s arts scene, and connected with a few old friends. I also got the opportunity to visit a news station that I’m hoping to land my next job at. If you’ve been following, then you know I’ve had my eyes set on Spectrum News 1. The meeting was great! I felt like I could really see myself working there and growing as a journalist. So no, I wasn’t drinking a spicy margarita on a boat in Cabo with twenty other people in a monochromatic color scheme (no shade), but I was doing something even better. I was betting on myself, and that sh*t felt great. This is when I also conquered the fear of traveling alone.

Not only am I focusing on getting to the bag, but I’m also finding my voice again. At this big age, there’s no reason why I should be sugarcoating anything when it comes to how I feel. I’m now old enough to say, “I’m way too grown for that,” and it hits the way it should. I’m expressing my needs freely and surrounding myself with people who feel like safe spaces to be vulnerable. Honestly, one of the biggest reasons why I’ve avoided dating for so long has been the fear of being silenced again. And to think I really gave those emotionally unavailable and uncouth men that I dealt with in the past that much power over my tongue. I’m now finding my footing with being comfortable showing up as my authentic self and speaking up. As the old folks say, closed mouths don’t get fed.

Before turning the big 3-0, I would ask friends and colleagues who were already in their thirties about what I could expect. Those answers varied depending on who I asked. Some described it as your twenties but with more money, and who’s complaining about that? Others talked about how life will start to make sense. It’s like you’re able to block out all the noise and the other bullshit to get closer to whatever it is YOU want. Whether it’s a better job, that fairytale love story, or even that perfect body, the world is at your fingertips. I don’t think many twenty-somethings realize that it really is that simple. We have the power to make our lives as bold and beautiful as we want them to be. We just have to get out of our own way.